Self-Judgement is SO Last Year! Help With New Years Resolutions

New Years resolutions seem to be a polarizing topic. There are those that swear by them, and those that look upon them with disdain. Both parties cite the same struggles though, that resolutions can cause us to be hard on ourselves in ways that hurt. Whether you choose to do New Years goals, or simply have goals on your own timeline, we must remember to be patient with ourselves. There are no extra points in life for goals we speed through! More importantly, there IS damage that can be done when we are too hard on ourself: we feel bad, we get discouraged, we lose hope, and we give up. Below are some ways to be kind to yourself with your new years resolutions, especially if you have struggled in the past.

• Setting Realistic Expectations:
  It's essential to set achievable goals when working on New Year's resolutions. Unrealistic expectations can lead to lowered self-esteem and worse progress. My clients know I always recommend breaking things into ridiculously small steps. That allows us to achieve them, get momentum, and see our potential. While you may have your goals set already, there is still plenty of time to adjust them, and your timeline.

• Progress Isn’t Always Linear:
  Every goal and skill comes with a learning curve. Whether you're aiming to work on your fitness, start a new hobby, or increase your self-care, there will be challenges and ups and downs. We have a choice over how to look at these moments. Accepting the ups and downs helps us stay resilient in the process.

• Embracing Self-Compassion:
  Imagine how you might treat a friend in similar situation. We are often are harshest critics, and treat ourselves in ways we would never tolerate from others. Sometimes creating an alter ego to talk back to that inner critic helps! Understanding that setbacks and mistakes are inevitable is key, and reminding ourselves of all the progress we have made is important. Utilizing CBT skills like reframing negative thoughts and spotting negative distortions is helpful, as well as, mindfulness and gratitude techniques.

Being patient with ourself while pursuing new years goals is key to consistently making progress. By setting realistic expectations, understanding the learning curve, and practicing self-compassion, we can build our resilience and make it through to our desired destinations! Bullying yourself is not an effective way to make progress, while kindness and self-compassion will help you meet your goals and be your best version of you. Good luck and don’t forget to have fun!